Religion, Rituals and Superstitions

We can define faith as belief in revealed truth. Superstion is belief in happenings of supernatural activities. Superstition directly contradicts faith. Ritual is set of activities of a particular group of people performed in fixed order for a particular cause, necessarily originating from a religion, community or even a small group. Religion is a fundamental set of belief agreed upon by a group of people who believe in the cause, nature and purpose of universe and performsome devotional activities. Superstitions are although believed to  originate from religion is not necessarily so. Superstition originates with the fear from predicting a series of misdeed happening to an individual or several individuals coincidentally after some same action to happen to all other individual who does that action. It has nothing to do with religion. Superstition is all about fear.

I encountered several such rituals  and superstitious beliefs during my the events after my fathers death. Although I agreed to follow a few of them, I gently denied to follow the rest. 

• There has always been a belief of taking bath after cremation in Hindu faith and taking birth before burial in Islam faith. During my few visits to attend cremation, I don't remember taking bath everytime. I took cremation as a day to day task and only took bath if I hadn't taken bath in the entire day. My rule is to bath daily. I was told to believe scientifically with the logic that wind brings flying ash from the pyre to fall upon the one's standing near the pyre and that's why we need to bath after attending cremation. In that case, I will always take bath after entering home from the polluted city life.

• I was asked to not have anything or drink water even, for three days as I was the one who gave the fire to my fathers corpse, popularly known as 'Mukhagni'. I didn't get any logic to that and I drank water. Although I didn't eat anything, still I drank water. I didn't get any logic to stay thirsty for three days. I was told this was to feel that someone close has left me. My father was dead just couple of hours back and I didn't need anything to impose grief on me. I am still broken because of his absence.

• I suddenly turned untouchable. Some people started standing away from me. Luckily I had near and dear ones who too didn't believe in anything of that sort. They believed that for 10 days my fathers soul would be wandering around me and so touching me could land them up in danger. 

• I am asked to not visit any temple or take part in any religious activity up to an year after my father's death. I seldom visit any temple, but I feel sorry for my mother. 

• I was also asked to remain wet for three days. Everytime I dried up, I had to take bath again. This was supposed to go till three days. I was told to do so to feel the grief. I denied to stay wet for three days in temperature range of 24 C - 14 C. 

• Me and my Mom had to take meal only once in day and that too at a time when nobody ever felt hungry. This continued for 13 days.

• I am asked to stay away from attending weddings, cultural gatherings, eating outside, going to any social event and anything auspicious. This is to keep  me feeling the grief.

I would consider most of these to be superstitions as I don't see the root of any perfect logic. My father was not at all superstitious and we would often laugh at such superstitions. Although he was religious, he was not superstitous. My fathers rational nature gave me the strength to oppose such beliefs. Social pressure compelled me to follow a few of them and I shall continue to follow those few for the works of everyone dependent on me. However, for whomsoever I would be dependent upon I would ask to deny such beliefs. If it is believed that by following certain activities blindly I would feel the grief of someone's absence than its absolutely not so. It would turn me more rebellious. I will always feel my fathers absence and it is not for just a year. I will feel my fathers absence even if I don't follow these. It comes from heart and it can't be imposed. This is all about respect. I believe these superstitions are just to impose the grief of someone's absence on his near and dear ones and which is not at all necessary.

The morning of 15th December 2018

I asked everyone else to leave. I didn't want anybody else to lose their sleep. Dad was admitted to the hospital on that morning itself and after an entire day of check up he was referred to ICU. We were told that he was improving and he was referred so that his recovery could be faster. I volunteered to  stay and didn't allow any other kin because I wanted to be with Dad. Ever since I remember I always slept with Dad and this continued till his operation. I didn't want to leave Dad with anybody else. I felt I was the best who could have been there beside him. As the night passed by I was left alone. There were two more attendants of some different patient with me but they chose to sleep. Staying awake on such a cold winter was not so easy. Even I couldn't have stayed awake if it would have been for somebody else than my father. I drank plenty of water. I even chewed few areca nuts. I din't have a sound sleep the night before too. I was sure to make a tough call by morning. I had made up my mind to take him to a better doctor or if necessary even to a metro to get him well. I was with him three weeks back for nine days. We went to Chennai for his cervical dysfunction surgery. He recovered fast then. The peace of the night was disturbed by some noise in the ICU at about 03:30 AM. Although I had a watch, I forgot to see the time. I was sure it was for one of the four other patients who were also there with my Dad because two of them were already very critical. I stood and prayed for whosoever it was. At about 04:30 AM the doctor came walking to me and I lost the grip to stand. I was the only child of my parents and that didn't let me fall. The doctor said that my father wouldn't survive and he was in the last hour of life. I was never ready for such a moment. I went in with the doctor. I could see that his BP was severely high and heart beats were low in the display attached beside him. The doctor informed that multiple organs had failed and he was hit by a cardiac arrest. I touched his feet and rubbed it. Every night before sleep it was customary for me to massage his hands and feet for a while. While I rubbed his feet I tried calling him with the hope that he could listen to me. I realised his feet losing senses and he was dead by then. I could feel his soul leaving away his dead body. I was shivering and about to fall until when one of the hospital staffs caught hold of me. I don't know whether it was because of less winter clothes or something else. I am one among those unlucky son who has seen his father die and I couldn't do anything good. I had to stay numb. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. My dad never taught me to cry. I couldn't cry in front of him even though he was dead. I came outside and broke down in the stairs. The umbrella of fatherly care and love was all gone. How could I say my mother about that? I thought to jump out of the window and end my life too. At least then I could have been beside Dad. I thought of my mother. She had already lost her elder son and now her husband. I couldn't leave her too. I called a few of my kin and informed them. I asked them not to inform anything to my mother. I went in without any  tears. My dad taught me never to cry. He would be hurt if he ever saw me cry. I asked the doctor for the death certificate and discharge report. I even called up the vehicle who is supposed to carry soulless bodies to the cremation place. I could hear the nurses talk amongst themselves that how was I so stable even after my Dad's sudden death. Well my dad had taught me to be so. I called up  my Mother after ninety minutes and she was already awake. She did early morning prayers and was also ready to make breakfast for Dad. I said her that  my Dad was no more with us. I took him to home where everyone was already broken. When I born, my Dad was very happy to carry me to our home. I was bringing home my dead father. The balance was uneven. The balance remains uneven. I wish I could save my father. 

Travel and Learn

How do you define learning? If it is mugging up big books and jolting them down then seriously you are being trained to be a parrot. You are just repeating things that is already felt, discovered or jolted by somebody else without even contributing anything to it. That won't help anybody. Obviously some teacher who is not accustomed to innovation would have given you good grades, but he has obviously killed the little left zeal of innovation in you. 

Learning is gaining knowledge. I believe the best way is to travel and learn. The thrill and adventure teaches you that there is no charm in waiting for the destination, but the worth is in valuing your journey. 

Travelling brings you across new cultures, new people, new places, nature, terrain and food habits. It is said that culture and food habits change every 100 kilometres and what is more fun in travelling across such varied forms of cultures and food habits. 

Travelling also develops your micro-mentality in to a broader prospective. You forget to differentiate across people by the caste, community, religion and wealth. When you stay inside your home you forget to love your neighbours, when you live only amidst your neighbours you forget the other parts of the city, when you live only in your city you forget the other places in your state, when you live only in your state you forget the rest of the country, but when you travel like the whole world is your  home you are not confined to restricted thoughts in your mind. 

Travelling also drives away the inner fear of home-sickness. I have seen a lot of people around who could achieve big but they refrained themselves from doing so because of their inability to give up with their home-sickness.

I was always discouraged by my friends to try trekking because of my weight. I did a lot of things which people of my weight generally refrain themselves fearing adverse consequences. I was never encouraged by anyone to trek up across rocks to a ice filled hill. If ever I tried, nobody was there to motivate me. Last year, when I stood below one such icy hill I was again lacking motivation from within and surrounding. When I saw a few people nearby mocking me because of my weight I gave up the fear and got up to the topmost peak without anybody's help. I did it and I am proud of it. They who tried to mock me, gave up in between. I accomplished another fear of life. I could do that because I travelled to a new place and that led me to discover a different part of me inside me.

Life is such a journey which is not possible to learn it all. In fact, nobody has ever known the whole of it. Travelling just lets you know a different part of it everyday. So I believe in the mantra - Travel and Learn.

Significance of Areca Nuts and Betel Leaves in North-Eastern India

Don't be surprised if you are welcomed in to a North-Eastern family with Areca Nuts and Betel Leaves instead of any soft drink. It is an integral part of our culture. It is called 'Tamul Paan' in Assamese and Nagamese, 'Kua' in Manipur, 'Kuhva' in Mizoram, 'Kwai' by the Khasi's of Meghalaya and 'Gue' by the Garo's of Meghalaya. 

Chewing Areca Nut and Betel Leaves is being followed as a custom since thousands of years. Famous traveller Ibn Battuta describes the ritual as, "The betel is a tree which is cultivated in the same manner as the grape-vine. The betel has no fruit and is cultivated for the sake of its leaves. The manner of its use is that before eating it one takes areca nut; this is like a nutmeg but is broken up until it is reduced to small pellets  and one places these in the mouth and chews them. Then he takes the leaf of betel, puts a little chalk on them and masticates them along with the betel." Tobacco stands as an optional addition with the betel leaves. 

Chopped Areca Nuts offered with betel leaves and lime

In Assamese culture the host places small pieces of areca nuts with betel leaves to the guests as an honour and conversations go on with offerings of tea and areca nuts with betel leaf. When wedding invitations are given with areca nuts and betel leaf, it signifies that the host family honours the guest and is very keen for the guest. Newly wed couples seeks blessings from the elderly by offering areca nuts and betel leaf. During bihu,  areca nuts and betel leaf are offered to the Fire God along with sesame seeds and laru-pitha.  Areca nuts and betel leaf are also given as felicitations. 

Areca Nuts with Betel Leaves

In Khasi culture, they carry small packets of  areca nuts and betel leaf. Their day goes on with  areca nuts and betel leaf. They offer it to every visitor. There is also a humorous belief that when someone has left for his heavenly demise, he has gone to have 'Kwai' with God. Most  people carry a small bag of areca nuts with betel leaves and they rarely go out of stock.

In Manipur, women sells heaps of areca nuts with betel leaves in the market which goes from Assam, Bangladesh and Myanmar. Grooms are welcomed to the wedding by offering areca nuts with betel leaves in a brass plate. 

The craze for areca nuts with betel leaves is same in Mizoram also and local shops are seen selling Kuhva Hring in small packets and locals consume it. 

Nagamese people also love tamul and it is mostly consumed post meal. It is believed that it enhances digestion.

Areca Nut Trees

However the craze for areca nuts with betel leaves is not seen in Arunachal Pradesh and Tripura. 

Areca nuts with betel leaves are elements of high respect in North Eastern culture and a guests denial to the offering by the host will obviously be disappointing for the host. It is also believed that there are several health benefits from the consumption of areca nuts with betel leaves. It keeps people warm in winters. It is believed to cure impotence, help in digestion and a remedy for tooth decays. 

x

Barbados - A Dream in my Bucket List

Nature is always an underrated beauty. There is more thrill in travelling to explore nature, culture and customs, than just travelling to places to try out cuisines and shopping around. Barbados is a dream destination for all nature lovers. With tide pools, cliffs, coral reefs, underground lakes and caves, coral rocks and beaches with palm trees the island stands as one of the most sought after travel inspiration destinations across the world. The land is an unspoilt haven for many creatures and houses some of the indigenous flora and fauna.

Barbados is an island country in southeastern Caribbean Sea, covering an area of 432 square kilometres. English is the official language of the country. Barbados has tropical monsoon climate round the year with mild breeze. The period from June to November witnesses rain in the entire climate.

The playful waves and pink sand makes the Crane Beach one among the top beaches of the world. The gentle breeze that sways the coconut grooves also adds to it beauty. The beach is famous for Boogie boarding and body surfing. The beach has always been a favourite for honeymooners. The Crane Beach Resort, located near the beach ensures great stay for the visitors and also ensures every possible comfort to the visitors.

Bathsheba is a rugged beach towards the eastern coast. At Bathsheba beach, large rock formations stand in the beach giving the view of picturesque beauty. These rocks are broken rock formations from the ancient coral reef. The pools of Bathsheba are carved in inshore coral reefs. Visitors sit in them with a drink and enjoy the enriching experience of the natural whirlpool created in them.

Oistins Bay Garden is a small fishing town towards the south coast. Different vendors have different cooking style. They have wide range of fish and meat which is prepared in front of the customers. People take their seat in informal setting and enjoy their food while enjoying music. During weekends, late night visits general keep the customers waiting for long time as the queue gets longer. Art and craft items like jewellery, pottery, wood carvings, pottery, clothing and accessories are also available for sale at the beach.

Bajan Bus is one of the historic treasures of this island country. The bus gives the tourists a tour around the scenic beauty, the life of locals and sights of some of the photogenic places. The bus takes around 30 passengers on shared basis or rent. The bus stops for a rum punch and buffet lunch.

Andromeda Botanic Gardens houses several flowering plants and tropical plants. The garden houses, humming birds, resident monkeys and over six hundred different variety of plants. The garden is a delight for horticulturists. There is also a cafe and a place nearby to buy crafts.

The Atlantis Submarine tour is a forty minute journey to 150 feet below the sea level and allows visitors to the sea the sea bed as a playground. The journey leaves the visitors enthralled by the view of amazing coral formations and sea life. The co-pilot shares different information and adventures about the sea life.

Barbados Earthwork Pottery is located near St. Thomas and it manufactures some of the attractive and usable pottery in the finest class. Dinnerware and serving pieces come in 150 shapes and 36 patterns. The entry is free but the aesthetic tempts almost every visitor to buy a gift or a dinner piece. This Caribbean pottery place is a must visit.

Barbados is the birthplace of oldest distilled spirit – rum. Mount Gay Distillery, founded in 1703 is believed to be the oldest manufacturer of rum. Rum has been the essence of Caribbean culture and Barbados rum is considered to be the best rum in the world. There are several recipes of rum across Barbados and each the uniqueness of each recipe adds a better experience of self-exploration.

The nightlife at this island is also highly appreciated. There are plenty of places to grab a cocktail, dance, play arcade games or even set out on a dinner cruise. There are plenty of festivals happening all throughout the year where crowd from all around the year drop in.

A visit to this island will definitely prove to be more than awesome. The experience here starts with a gentle smile, goes on with inquisitiveness, builds more delight with every different facet of the island and leaves everyone with an urge to visit again. The narrows roads and colourful lives give a wonderful experience of Caribbean culture exploration.

This post is submitted for Lufthansa's #TheBlindList contest.  So pack your bags and #SayYesToTheWorld.

Some Me Time

Do we need someone to remind us to peep in to our life for some time everyday?

I was going through a tough time of life. Although I was doing better than than most people around me, yet I was directionless. Even those who were doing not as good as me were at least sure of where they were heading to. I started long back but I didn't know where I had to end. I was confused whether that start of mine was the appropriate or I was yet to start. I was in the midst of such a phase that I couldn't restart, I couldn't erase away of what I was going through. I had to live with it. I couldn't erase the beginning but could surely decorate the end. The start was gone from my hands, but not the end. To decorate the end I had to change the journey. I did that too. I started peeping in to my life more. I started reviewing myself. Today I am my biggest critic. I wake up and while I plan for the day I spend some time thinking if it was taking me to where I wanted to be. If what I was planning to do ended  in vain than it was of no use of doing that. Just before going to bed I analyse the entire day. I also self talk and I perfectly realise when I do that. I got to know myself better. I also got to know that my limits were not so less. I could push myself to extremes which I always feared to. 

Today I am not successful but I obviously realise what I am doing to achieve my success. Today I am at least aware of what I define as my success parameter of life. Introspection helped me to be a better version of me.

"Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom."

 - Aristotle 

Penned down for the 242nd edition of Indispire - Are you a smart learner? Do you learn lessons from everyday things? How did you learn the lessons? Share a story.