Till the pyre..

13th January 2012, a black Friday. The entire day I spent sitting near my grandfather. The right side of his body was paralyzed and he was lying in the bed, inhaling the last breaths of his life.  It was very painful to see him in that position. He spoke some broken words, I could barely understand. Everyone of the family getting disappointed with every passing moment. I saw my mother, I never saw her cry like this before. By evening I decided to leave. While I was leaving away I saw my grandfather's face. I called him once. He did respond in broken words. There was a silent call from inside me which spoke like this was the last time I am seeing him alive and it seemed like he was not going to see the next sunrise again. Regardless of all these I left, mom joined me too. It was just two hours since I left when I got a call. My grandfather was no more. It seemed like the pictures of my childhood were fading away and everything became void in a blow. I rushed to Kamakhya with mom. My mom was quiet. Perhaps she was too recalling her days of childhood when her father was her hero, and today he left us all alone. When I reached my uncles place I saw many people standing. I made my way through the crowd. He was there, wrapped in a white cloth and he was sleeping in the deepest silence of life. I could not imagine I would someday see him in a such a gesture. When a few men started to lend their shoulder to him, I rushed to pick him up. As he was there on four shoulder's I realized tears broke my heart and shattered it. He was always a hero. As a child I remember he used to carry me on his shoulder's and he was always an energetic man. Even years after his retirement he did 20 push-ups very easily. It was not easy to carry a dead man in the ups and downs and narrow curves of the hills; and I realized this when several times I was asked to leave and somebody else would hold him in his ultimate ride. Every time I was asked I declined. I was always close to him; and so I wanted to remain close until the last moment. When we reached the cremation spot he was placed carefully on the pyre. I held him by his chest, I just wish if I could feel his heart beat for a while. I saw him for the last time. I prayed for the entire time. Hindu culture began and the last rites were over. I stayed there for the entire time. I saw him burn away. I saw his bones in those ashes. Human life is too delicate and too fragile; I realized. I left as everyone left. My black Friday took someone special away from me.

Do you feel the rain,

and the downpours of pain,

as its wet again and again,

as I cry on your name..

I sit and ask so early why?

Alone in dark, I watch the sky,

in another world that's too far,

there where shines one bright star,

I feel it smile as I gaze to it,

just the way you smiled back at me,

every time I think, I weep at this,

May your soul rest in peace..

P. S- The picture is not the original picture of my grandfather. I took it from Google Images. The picture is taken only with the intention to deliver the reader's a pictorial view of Hindu cremation.