Should she change her surname??

Is a girl born only to be a wife of a dominating man and not born as a daughter? Why is it that a lady has to bear all the social pressures and change her surname or add another surname? Aren’t we living in midst of irony when on one hand we are yelling women empowerment and gender equality and on the other hand are practicing such acts?

Indian marriages are very colorful, starting from the mehendi in the palm of the bride to the glittery reception ceremony. A bride is welcomed to her new home in midst of lot of celebrations and colors; but this color and charm doesn’t stay for too long. Her husband and In-laws start asking her about when she is going to change her surname. Most of the times this goes unopposed as the girl has been raised with a mentality that changing her father’s surname and adapting to her husband surname is very natural and essential. These are issues that need to be thought and opposed. A girl should have the freedom to continue with her father’s surname. We men are concerned about our machismo. We are not acting as real men when we ask the lady of our life to change her surname and add ours only to go along with the pre-existent social norms. We are exhibiting our masculinity only when we are asking her to keep her surname leading a h happy life.

Indian culture has always been discussed and appreciated for the respect of its women. We have always placed women at the par with God and have always worshipped them as Goddess. After keeping them on the same par with women, we demonstrate our respect towards them. Then why to destroy the respect within us for them by asking them to adopt our family name and give up theirs? Indian culture has always highlighted respect for women.

We have been opposing pre-existent social norms like inter-religion marriage and inter-caste marriage. We have always been terming them as unethical. Haven’t we missed something else on the list? Changing of surname isn’t of the same quantum and same religion marriage but is also not so petite that it can be let go unnoticed. We must bring the change and start it from ourselves. We mustn’t ask the new bride in our family to change her surname. If and only if we step a foot to bring the change and the society realizes its need, sooner it shall become the trend.

What made me happy..

“Thank you, thank you so much.." she walked towards me to grab my feet as a mark of appraisal for saving her daughter's life.

"Please don't do this. You are of my mothers age and I am not an exception. Anybody would have volunteered to donate blood to your daughter at such a stage of emergency" as I said consoling the lady sweeper who has in great tension searching blood donors for her daughter who was severely sick.

"No Sir, nobody had arrived before you and your friend volunteered. I had approached many people but was turned down every time. They didn't think that blood donation to be safe. Or rather they would not have felt reluctant to donate if my daughter would have been born in a family who belongs to the upper strata of the society" she said rubbing the roll of tears from her eyes.

"You mustn't be disheartened. Please feel free to call us. We will be there with more donors if it is necessary."

I  left the place with thoughts of the society's reluctance to donate blood to a needy person. I was disheartened to find out the greed of certain donors when they were asked to donate blood at such an hour of need. I was not accustomed to such moments and the reply of such selfish people made me more furious.

I was suddenly delighted with something. I found it hard to find. I hadn't had any food for the last 24 hours and I lied to the doctor regarding my last meal and my correct age. I was feeling happy. I thought for a while. As my friend rushed the scooty in midst city traffic to get something to eat, I grabbed a half liter bottle of Coca-Cola and started wondering in thoughts. I finally realized that it was the smile in the helpless lady's lips that made me happy. I realized that my happiness was in a helping someone really needy. I figured out that blood donation was something that really made me happy.

Two days later I got a call. The little girl to whom I had donated blood was really deteriorating. The doctors gave their heart and soul. The blood which was donated by me and my friend was infection free and was injected into the body of that young girl. She started to improve eventually. It felt great after saving the life of that young girl.

My friend called me up, “We never visit temples but I feel today I am blessed. We have done a great job.”

“Yes brother. We have done a good job and let us do it again and again. Let us serve humanity till our end” as I said.

It was the first time when I donated blood and I was underage. Since then I have donated blood for a total of sixteen times. I have realized a zenith of happiness every time I donated blood.

Message in a bottle

To all those who shall live with the seas,

Preserve my message until the end ends,

The sky has turned barbarous,

It yells, it shall outburst and then shed tears,

I fear this might be the edge,

Edge henceforth which shall have no sunshine.

For this sea might turn lethal,

It might has grab all into its appetite,

Breaking sandcastles and devouring the dreary deserts,

I fear it might even digest away the mighty flare,

Grabbing in itself might stories and legends.

Maybe humanity, it ought to turn freakish, as always,

It might blame the sea for its mistakes.

Amidst all, stories of legends and truths of today,

Might turn into the lost pages of history.

Thus I scribe all this, seal it in a glass bottle,

Oh mighty sea, upon you I throw the message,

Carry them on to the generations yet to arrive.

Ask them to be a little generous,

Change is inevitable, yet they can save the Earth..

ৰূপান্তৰ..

The Wall Magazine titled "ৰূপান্তৰ" presented by Charaideo Men's Hostel, Tezpur University at the Varsity Week

We were all stuck midst ideas and suggestions. Finally after every idea we scratched our head for a while and decided to keep it as one of the options. We were neither sure of the abstract nor of any theme. We were dwelling between imaginations and ability.

"Can we try something different? Something very crazy has stuck me in my mind", we all got our ears plugged to his words as Kaushik spelled them. 

"Please speak it out. We want to listen.", I said representing the voice of all the other people in the room, while still in the thought of what he was going to say.

"Can we think of a 3D rotating wall magazine within our budget?" asked Kaushik.

"Why not?" answered Nipam da with an affirmative and challenging tone.

"Will it be feasible within our time frame?" as I asked with an inquisitive negative mindset.

"Don't worry Sandip Da, we will work day and night. You guys frame the idea and we will try our best to execute it." replied Bitopan adding strength to the formation of the idea.

"Let us all work hand in hand. If well all lend our hands to each other, we all shall form a part of the network and only then our idea would be possible." added Jayanta giving a confirmation that what Kaushik had spoken a while ago wasn't just one among the options but it was what we would be working upon.

"Let us take our theme regarding something that has a wider horizon", added Kaushik.

"We all encounter change. Change is inevitable. Let us try to display the fear to encounter the change." I said.

Others nodded and that was the moment when we conceived the idea of 'ৰূপান্তৰ'.

We work as per plan and finally we made it. We designed and decorated it like our bride. We gave all our effort and poured in every bit of our energy. With every step, we tried our best to keep the cost as minimum as possible. We stayed awake for late hours everyday for a few days and we did it. We did what we wanted to.

Now when I stand and look back, it was perhaps not so difficult. We haven't won any prizes. Perhaps as per the judges we were not competent enough to hold the trophies. We respect their judgement. It might be so that the winners had better ideas than us.

We lived our dream and formed the biggest ever seen by us and 3D rotating cost efficient wall magazine. We did it. We were champions in our heart. We did something which wasn't ever seen anywhere else.

The story of making Roti

While living our days of bachelorhood, miles away from my home, cooking at its initial days used to be the most tiresome job. We first started with making rice and dal. After a couple of pathetic tries and failures, we finally got to know the exact amount of ingredients and succeeded in cooking something that was eatable, but obviously not serviceable. Our next attempt was cooking chicken. After constant direction and advice over the phone we made that good in our first attempt itself. We then realized that our specialization for cooking something eatable was perhaps the non-veg section and not anything else. Our initial months went by with every meal of chicken and rice. Later with the passage of time, we thought to broaden our horizon and make something that was almost unthinkable. We tried with chapatis. The exact amount of wheat flour and water was obviously unknown and we carried on our experiment on the basis of assumptions and trial and errors. We tried and tried and failed. After numerous attempts Sidhartha finally ended up with aching arms and complete failure. We gave up and ended with having rice and chicken again. At that moment, Eric, Sidhartha and I had perhaps given up. We ended for that day but obviously we weren't the ones to accept failure. We tried again, perhaps after a week. Sidhartha finally made it. The next hurdle was to make a perfectly round chapati. It wasn't easy. The first chapati that Sidhartha made looked like a map of some country. It resembled everything and anything except chapati. We had that unshaped chapati and as for the result of his effort, it was very tasty. We next concentrated on the shape and asked Sidhartha to work on bringing a perfect round shape. I was shocked at the next meal. The shape of the chapati was perfectly round. I had the meal without wondering how he made that in his second attempt itself. As I walked towards the basin to wash my plate, I saw some round balls of wheat flour in the waste-bin. I asked him out of curiosity what was that. He replied that he made huge pieces of chapati and placed a round bowl over it to bring the shape and threw away the flour which was out of the boundary. He said he didn't  get any better idea.

After the meal, I thought what was it that made me have that meal in utmost peace? Was it so tasty? Or was it my satisfaction seeing a round shape of the chapati? I realized it was my satisfaction seeing such a round chapati. The shape of the chapati really made me happy and that taste was a psychological satisfaction attached with the shape and way of its presentation. We finally had few of our meals with that same technique until later when Sidhartha succeeded in making round rotis.  

Gloomy Valentine's day

He waited long, thought she would arrive,

every sound, every whisper that rang once in a while,

he thought she was there to be beside,

he turned his head, only to be disappointed again and again.

With winds and whispers, she was seen there,

he forgot his tiredness, hours that took test of his patience,

he stood up, spread his arms to welcome her,

deep into the warmth in his heart..

She walked towards him, bold and straight,

with every step of hers, he built a confidence,

thought forever that she was his and he was hers,

instead she walk past, he was just a stranger to her eyes..

He tried to heal himself, and yet every time broke apart,

he could not know what was wrong anyway,

was it the so called unlucky black Friday?

Or his love wasn’t meant to be his anyway?