My Dad's Last Message

My dad was admitted the previous night at about midnight. His preliminary check-up's were done and his surgery was to be done next day. I was beside him. We talked for some while and agreed to sleep. The night didn't let us sleep. We slept in bits. I woke up and made my dad ready before the operation. He was advised not to have anything. He regularly had tobacco and that day he was looking at me helplessly. I could understand the urge in him and I arranged for his tobacco. He was delighted. I shouldn't have done that but I couldn't resist too. The doctor came and announced. We were both afraid. We were thousands of miles away from home and there was nobody beside who could console me. I was fighting thousands of negative vibes inside me while he was being taken inside. I gave up everything and plugged in my headphone. Music was always my saviour. I tried to go for my favorite playlist but couldn't. I was getting calls from my mother whether everything was fine or not. Even if I had no idea of what was going on inside I kept telling her that everything was fine. Nobody from my paternal kin bothered to give a call. The moment when I needed someone there wasn't anyone to hold me firm from falling. I got plenty of calls from materal kins and close friends. After three hours they came to announce that his operation was successful but I wasn't allowed to meet him. I went to every extent of requesting but the lady turned no ears. I was pushed off by the guard outside the operation theatre. Meanwhile I conveyed everything to everyone who was concerned. We belong to Hindu faith but there were few people who were praying in the village Mosque when my father's operation was going on. Probably that had kept him alive. After two hours I went inside after bargaining a succesful deal with the guard. Dad was lying senseless in the recovery room. I came outside and again made another succesful attempt inside after some time. This time, he was awake. He smiled at me and waved his hand. He was alive and perhaps that was what he was trying to convey me. He asked me show my watch. He saw the time. I was again pushed outside. I made it inside again after two hours. By that time, I was a pro in getting inside and was also used to being thrown outside. Dad's oxygen mask was removed and he wanted to drink something. I approached the doctor and she gave him a cup of warm tea and also threw me outside. I again went it after two hours and this time Dad caught hold of me and he started walking. He walked for sometime inside the recovery room. This time I was not thrown outside and instead the doctors called me up to say that usually patients took at least 24 hours to walk after such a major surgery and Dad was walking withing 6 hours. It was never so easy to hold him away from freedom and even this time they could but only for mere 6 hours. They allowed Dad back to hospital room from the recovery room. The doctor came late night to ask if everything was alright. To their surprise, Dad asked the doctor about his native and children. Dad also asked him to arrange for some good food as he was hungry. Soon there was idli and rice for him. He insisted me on having one idli too. He was hungry but he knew I was hungry too. I knew he didn't walk in the 6th hour itself to prove anything to anybody but only to let me know that I had nothing to worry. We woke up at 3 am again. He wanted to go for a stroll in the floor itself. Initially I held his hand, not firmly but just as a support. He left the grip away and started walking on himself. We saw a very very fat man who was probably thrice as fat as me. Just then after he walked away Dad started with the old nursery poem Humpty Dumpty. We laughed out loud. The nurses too heard us but they were too amused to see a man laughing just after hours of such an operation. Dad died after twenty two days. He left  with a message that one should never stay away from laughter. He believed in sharing happiness.

The Judgemental Indian Neighbour

In India, we don't need CCTV to keep an eye an us. We have our neighbours for that.

It isn't so easy to get that good child certificate from our neighbour. I have figured out that neighbours judge us on three phases from childhood to adulthood. Our school phase is typically judged on our class 10th marks. I have no idea why class 10th marks is so pivotal in our society. In fact, it has no value in real life. People with poor class 10th marks are doing good in life and people with good marks in class 10th are sitting idle. Class 10th marks just helps the kid to get in to one of those top pre-university colleges. In fact,in certain cases class 10th marks are a good excuse to celebrate amongst the elderly without even realizing that they are overrating a child's expectation. The second phase of judgement comes in getting a government job. If you can get it, you are a winner. If not, you haven't been able to prove your worthiness to the society. Even in arranged marriages, the key to get a nod from the girl's parent's lies in it. Our society is not ready to accept people working in MNC's, doing business or self-employed. The third phase of judgement comes when its time to get married. Even today love marriages are a big no from the society. Our society is totally against two independent people deciding themselves if they are ready to live together for the rest of their life. 

When they have judged a person on these three phases of life, they step in to judging the next generation and by that time, the one's who were already judged earlier drops in to judging the next gennerating. Thus, the wheel of judgemental Indian neighbour goes on and on.

Who you should be?

Should you always be what you pretend to be?

We have always pretend to be someone or atleast tried to be similar to a particular genre as per the society. What I mean to say is that we have all accustomed to a particular profession and also have aligned our life style with it. Even if we are actually not the person whom we are pretending to be, we have so much accustomed ourselves to a particular genre of the society that we have actually forgotten what we actually are.

Let me  elaborate.

We all live in a society with most of us dragging ourselves in the 9 to 5 rat race. We have a perfect yearly schedule. On most days we wake up to reach our workplace tired with hopeful dreams and we end our day without any productive work for ourselves. On festivals, we come out wearing traditionals, click selfies with fake smiles and that's how our years are ending. Haven't we ever thought of giving up pretending to be someone and really be ourselves?

We, who are dragging ourselves to work every morning have forgotten that their lives a different person in us with a different hidden dream. If we all go back to our childhood, do we remember saying that our dream was to work 9 to 5? I am sure nobody would have said that. We wanted to be a musician, a traveller or a writer. Perhaps a few of us also wanted to be fire fighters, join the army or play soccer. We have already given up on our dreams or are shattering it everyday and by that it shall be destroyed itself. Is it right? We are working hard to fulfill somebody else's dream. We are all afraid to put our job security at minimal risk just to pursue what we always wanted to do. We are dragging ourselves to work 40 hours a week denying our dreams which would need perhaps 80 hours a week at the beginning. The double effort will yield exponential happiness. 

It would cost a little to be yourself but the effort is worth it.

Submitted for Indispire

Silver Hair Sins - Review

Buy Here - Amazon

Genre - Science Fiction, Suspense, Thriller

Silver Hair Sins is a fiction thriller and the story goes ahead to the time of 2088 AD - 2205 AD. Imagine the barriers and differences that we have today. Hasn't it multiplied in last few decades? Haven't it dug differences amongst us on the basis of religion, caste and other social scenario? If this is the sscenario today then imagine the world about a hundred years from now. The Author, Mr. Saumick Pal takes us exactly to the era when religio-political differences amongst us would be at the peak and technology would take over us to save humanity.  The Author takes us to such a stage where we would be guided through artificial intelligence. However, the evils inside a human mind is such, they do break codes and guidelines with such ease that even the creators would be amused. The author points towards the aspects of today where religion and religious views are moulded by religious leaders in such a manner that they take advantages of the differences and exploit our beliefs only for their interests. The author uses cinematized photographs to take us to the Dystopian world. He uses his narrative skills to create an image of augmented reality, hovercrafts, silver chips embedded into humans and also shows the human greed for power.

The story revolves around a small family - Meera, Aasma and Akbar. The story describes how artificial intelligence takes on human beings and how the balance of sin and holy is maintained in the world. The narration and portray of the charecters are such that throughout the book there has been a curiosity regarding what next would come up. The growth of an innocent child to a matured girl amidst the various religio - political differences portrays the different faces of our society.

Initially the book shall compel you to think that it is about the scince fiction. However as the story goes on gradually, various social isses like patriarchy, hypocricy, fanatacism, intolerance and politics are highlighted. The issues  are drawn from todays point of view and its imapct on future is well depicted by the author.

However, the author could have elaborated more in the climax. After reading the book, I am still inquisitive on a few how's and why's. However, the author's attempt to maintain brievity while depicting so many social issues on a future reference is also remarkable.

The author Mr. Saumick Pal is an engineer and has also been a script writer. The book is his of attempt of fictional window to social commentary.

In a nutshell, I would recommend this book for people who love reaading thrillers and science fiction. The book would also be interesting for those who are associated with social causes. The use of pictures builds a strong visual impact. The vocabulary and concept is easy to understand and relatable.

I would rate the  book 4.5 out of 5. 

Panei - Jonki

Panei - Jonki is the story of a girl named Panei and a boy named Jonki. They hailed from Lakhimpur, Assam and belonged to the Mising tribe of Assamese community. Panei was born to Niroma (mother) and Tamod (father) who were farmers from a poor family. Jonki's parents had expured since he was kid and he grew up in the village amongst other village families. They were residents of the Subansiri Miri Gaon which was based besides the river Subansiri. 

The Mising tribe is tribe originating from the hills. However continuous warfare has bought them to the plains. They worship clouds, thunder, moon, sun, stars and land. They offer wine, pork and chicken as a offering to the nature. 

Panei, who was then about 8-9 years old was playing besides the river. Jonki, who was then 14-15 years old was also there. Suddenly a bear came out of the forest. The duo got afraid and ran away from there. Panei stumbled upon the rocks. Jonki came back and helped her get up and both of them fled together. 

After some years, when it was the seventh day of Kati Bihu and there was a feast at the village with pork and chicken. While taking the blessings from the priest, Panei-Jonki sat together. Even during the feast when the group got divided on the basis of gender, they sat in oppositie to each other. After the feast, the Priest was asked about the well being of the village and then there he gave an indication that something untoward might turn up for one of the village couple. The village youth danced Bihu till late evening, when Jonki called Panei near him and asked her to meet him as he had something to discuss with her. Panei agreed to  meet him besides the river Subansiri. Accordingly, they met by the banks of river Subansiri. 

Jonki was eager to know if Panei has any likeness for him. He was also confused whether she had anything for Komud (the village Headman's son). Panei confessed that she like Jonki and denied of any likeness towards Komud. Jonki wanted to know if Panei's parents would allow them to get married. Panei asked him to work hard and earn and some money and only then she would be able to convince her parents for Jonki. 

Panei's parents were also worried for her wedding as she was growing old. Niroma wanted her to get married to Jonki but Tomud didn't. Tomud wanted her to get married to Komud as her future would be secured and he would get handsome money as offering. Niroma insisted Tomud to take Panei's consent to which he disagreed. Instead he asked Niroma to speak about Komud to Panei as she would probably grow some affection towards him. Panei, who had gone to fetch water from the river heard her parents discussing about Komud as she returned.

Panei met Jonki and asked how much had he earned by then. Jonki could earn only twenty bucks and said it would take him another six months to earn twenty bucks more and only then he would be able to talk to her parents about their marriage. 

Niroma discussed with Panei regarding Komud. Panei disagreed to the marriage offer and insisted on remaining unmarried. 

Six-seven days later, Komud reached to ask for Panei's hand and offered some monetary offering and seeked blessing. 

Jonki had left the village and was staying at Ghunaxuti, at his maternal aunt's place. His proficiency with Bihu and musical instruments made him famous amoung the young folks of Ghunaxuti. Dalimi, was one of the best Bihu dancers of Ghunaxuti. They started dancing Bihu together. Whenever Jonki would go to the banks of Subansiri to know about the how-abouts of Panei, Dalimi would be sad. Although she knew nothing about Panei, yet Jonki's absence left her sad. Gradually Jonki said Dalimi about his stay at Subansiri Miri Gaon and Panei. Dalimi was heart broken as she had started developing liking towards Jonki. 

Niroma and Tomud often insisted Panei to get married to Komud. However, she always denied. They even left the young couple alone at times so that they could start a conversation but seeing Panei's anger Komud never dared to speak a word. On several attempts, finally Panei said about Jonki. Tomud got furious and he went to the extent of saying that he would disown her as his child if she ever spoke of getting married to Jonki. 

Dalimi's father had few boats. Jonki asked Dalimi to lend him a boat as he intended to elope with Panei. Jonki said about Panei's sufferings and that left Dalimi in tears. She arranged for the boat.

Panei-Jonki eloped. They stopped near a dense forest. They parked the boat by the bank and stayed in the forest for the night. The let the boat go and wandered by the forest. At evenings, they would take shelter in a forest near Ghunaxuti. The villagemen who were in search of Panei went to Ghunaxuti and found Jonki missing. They were sure that the duo had eloped together. Jonki would gather vegetables and eatables with the money that he saved from Ghunaxuti and they managed to stay in that manner for a month. 

One evening while they were sitting beside the bonfire, Komud along with fifteen other villagemen appeared and they caught the duo. Jonki was taken in to custody by Tomud. There was a tremendous fight between Jonki and Komud. However the tribesmen attacked Jonki and only then Jonki settled. Dalimi's father arrived there with other viillagemen and stopped the fight. Even after being surrounded by such a huge mob, Jonki warned Komud to stay away from Panei or else he would have to face dire consequences.

The matter reached  the court of Lakhimpur. Numerous charges of theft, robbery and kidnapping were levied upon Jonki by Komud, Tomud and other villagemen. The court took Panei's statement and could find out that all the charges were false. The court however asked Panei's parents to take her and added that during her stay with her parents, neither Komud nor Jonki could disturb her. Panei's parents assured that they would settle the matter amongst themselves.

Panei was taken by her parents. Jonki returned to Ghunaxuti. Panei was greeted by her friends on her return. Some villagemen also insulted her. Panei's parents again insisted her to get married to Komud. She said that either she would stay unmarried or would marry Jonki. If forced, she would die willingly.

Komud's father also decided that either he would take the offered money back or would get Komud married to Panei.

Dalimi said Jonki that she has seen his villagemmen go towards the jungle and then she sent her father with a few villagers of Ghunaxuti to save them. She did the best to save the couple. 

Panei eloped again. She learnt that her parents were planning to forcefully get her married to Komud.

The viillagemen again came to Ghunaxuti in search of Jonki at his maternal aunt's home. Jonki got angry and said that Panei had eloped only because of the forceful attempts made by her parents to get married. The villagemen left. Dalimi heard the news and bought whatever money she had saved to Jonki. Jonki also said that he would go in search of Panei. 

Panei's parents realised their mistake. Niroma would often blame Tomud. Tomud, who has hard-hearted all the while was now feeling sad for his daughter. Jonki reached their place asked for their blessings. Panei's parents requested him to bring her out if he had hid her anywhere. Jonki denied, took their blessings and left in search of Panei.

After two days of wandering Panei, reached a Hindu village nearby. They lived a young gentleman whom Panei approached for water. By evening he insisted her for some wine and taking advantage of her intoxication he tried to molest her. Panei was a strong Mising girl and she successfully resisted his attempt. She was about to leave when he got back to his senses. He apologised and asked her to stay overnight. She forgave him and stayed there. 

Jonki was was also searching Panei reached the same place two days later. By the time he reached there, Panei had already left. He again left in search of her. On the way, he was kidnapped and they took his money. After three days and three nights of walking they reached a village above a hill. They gave him dry meat to eat. He could understand that he was taken as a captive and that  he had to stay there as a servant. He stayed there for four months.

One day, while he was working he saw some men bring few women as captives. He could see Jonki in them. They met and decided to elope. They were caught by the villagemen. They were decorated to be thieves. A village court comprising of the village elderly prove them to be thieves. They were tied with a single rope. Jonki prayed that Panei should be spared as she was pregnant. The villagemen gave no ear. They were pulled to the river banks.

It was already six months since Panei had left. Niroma would often blame Tomud. One day, she saw Panei-Jonki in her dream who were in a mountain. They refused to come down. They said it was impossible. They were happy. After Niroma woke up she went to the bank to fetch water. She spotted two bodies grabbed in each other arms flowing with the river. As the villagemen pulled the bodies they could make out it was Panei-Jonki. They were stabbed by sharp bamboos. They left the world in each other's arms.

The eternal love  story of Panei-Jonki shall be forever remembered by the people of this part of the country.

Joymoti Konwori - The Unsung Lady

Between the years of 1671 to 1681, the state of Assam, then under the Ahom rulers was under the rule of many incompetent kings who were puppets at the hands of their Nobles and Prime Ministers. The Prime Minister to the Lora Raja or boy king Sulikhpaa, Laluksala Borpukan had ordered for all the princes of the Ahom dynasty to be mutilated, a period known as the Purge of the Princes of 1679 to 1681. The aim was to keep his puppet king on the throne, and so would his power over the ruling of the state. The soldiers were unable to find Prince Gadapani who had fled to the Naga hills. To find Gadapani’s whereabouts, his wife, Joymoti was arrested and brutally tortured. She was tortured for a period of fourteen days, in ‘Jerenga pathar’ in Sivasagar. She was tied to a thorny plant and inhuman physical afflictions were inflicted on her body. She never got weak and instead faced all tortures although she was pregnant then. Gadapani, on learning about the tortures about his wife, reached Jerenga Pathar incognito. He signalled her to speak out the truth. She didn’t and instead signalled back at him to escape. She wanted her husband to be the king and build an empire which would be free of all socio-economic problems. A mother of two, Lai and Lechai, aged 14 and 12. Later after 14 days of inhuman torture she died.  The tremendous sacrifice of Joymoti for her state brought about a ‘renaissance’ in the history of Assam. Given the title of “Sati” because of her valiant fight, Joymoti remains immortal. The first Assamese film, directed by Jyoti Prasad Agarwal, Joymoti, was a biopic of Joymoti Konwari released in March 1935. Her elder son, Sukhrungphaa, or Lai built the Joysagar tank, the largest of all tanks built by the Ahom Kings and also the largest man-made lake of India, stands on the very place in Sivsagar, where Joymoti was tortured three centuries ago. 

Joymoti died on the 13^th day of the Hindu month of Chaitra. 27^th March 2019 is celebrated  as Sati Joymoti Divas.

Joymoti is a perfect exemplar of feminism where she devoted her entire life for her dream of an empire which would be free from socio-economic problems. The kind of persecution she faced has no other parallel in the history ever.  

Munmun's Mom's Way of Parenting

I am sharing a small story from 5th or 6th standard.

There used to  be a young kangaroo named Munmun. Munmun was very attached  to his mother. As days passed by, he chose not to grow up and be a joey forever and stay in his mother's pouch. His mother insisted him to start learning to  leap but he defied everytime. He was fond of his mother's care and that defied him from growing old. One day his mother decided  to teach him a lesson. While Munmun was asleep, his mother left him beneath a tree and was watching him from a distance. As he woke up, he was shocked to be alone. He looked for his mom everywhere but he couldn't find her. He felt thirsty and searched for water. He remembered the way to river where his mom used to carry him in her pouch and he started leaping towards the river. His mom followed him. While he reached the river and was about to drink water, he saw his mother.

Munmun's Mom teaches a lot about how parenting should be done. Every mammal is scientifically concerned about the child. The concern sometimes goes so far that parents even forget to let  their kid grow up. Kid's today are so spoon fed that they have forgotten how to do household chores even. Freedom and responsibilities will both make a kid grow up. Yes, however that needs a strict eye like Munmun's Mom. However the kid shouldn't realize that he is being watched up. This also will let you know how your child behaves in your absence. If he behaves matured, then it is you who is not letting him grow up. If  he is homesick, then you must let him realize the world outside your home. If he does something wrong, then probably he needs some more nurturing or even strict eye.

I grew up in a similar environment and I am thankful to my parents for that. I was never spoon fed. I had to figure out solutions by myself to some of my problems. If that was beyond my scope, then only my parents would interrupt. I was not scolded for studies everyday but was also questioned for my marks which compelled me to make my own study plan. I was not restricted of television. The luxury of parents escorting to the school bus-stop always remained a dream. If ever there was any community event or a Bihu function in the neighbourhood I always returned late night. However, the day my Dad found out I was learning to ride a bike without proper license he warned me about all the consequences and also ensured that I got my license to ride. Even after I started working and earning he found out once that I was riding without a helmet. He reminded me of the benefits of wearing a helmet. I had to do household chores. No excuses were entertained for skipping household chores. My parents had no discrimination of a male child or a female child. They always taught me to live doing my own chores from cooking to cleaning and perhaps that has helped me to stay away from home. 

Parent's in my generation were also involved with their children. However, they also knew the disadvantages of spoon-feeding the child. I have seen today's generation parent's doing their way of parenting. One of the parent keeps waiting outside asking the school bus driver to wait while the other carries the child in lap feeding him tiny bits and bringing to the bus stop. If they haven't taught them punctuality now, they will never be able to see a future gentleman in them later now.

Submitted for Indispire

Priortizing Life First

You realize how beautiful your life is only when you are inches away from death. Your complaints never end. You are in a race to prove how pathetic your life is and that nobody has a more pathetic life than yours. You never compare our life what is today with what it was previously. Instead you keep comparing your life that you dream to live and that you are living. You might have started your journey on a bus and perhaps have bought up a car now. However, the only regret that you have is why you aren't able to own that SUV which that rich brat friend of yours rides around the city. When you are on your deathbed or have somehow escaped an accident you suddenly realize how far have you come. It is perhaps because from your schedule of office, selfie's and EMI's you hardly have any time for introspection. You just keep rolling in the wheel of desires without even realizing that where you should have stopped.

You realize how beautiful she is, only after you see her with someone else. You somehow fail to remind her how beautiful she looks even today. You forget to appreciate her for all the things she does to keep things calm and composed. She is the same girl for whom you once bought a teddy bear, saved pocket money for a gift and suddenly when you have married her, you have forgotten to make her feel special. She still expects some special moments. If she has decided to be with someone else it is only because someone else has made her feel special. Had you been taking some time out of your busy office schedule for her everyday, nobody would have definitely got a chance. Someone is in only because you have left a void.

You will realize the value of your parents only after they have passed away. You have had some dreams with your parents. It can be going out for a family meal at an expensive restaurant, buying some clothes for your parents or taking them out for a vacation. However you keep delaying with the hope for a perfect occasion or a office leave. You never realize what would the delay cost you. You repent only after you lose your parents. Were you so busy? Really? Did office matter so much? Was the month end sales closing so vital? Don't you repent on how transformed are you today that a presentation holds more importance to you than your parents?

Perhaps we should start with priorities. You might not be working with the same company after two yours but your parents, spouse, children and your health is of utmost importance to you and that will matter to you in the long run of life. You might spend the golden time of life working for someone but when you will be old then won't even bother to give you a 'hello! how are you?' mail. The only people who will be beside you are your near and dear ones. Taking some time out for them is not a bad deal.

Few Traditions of Northeastern India

We have several traditions which we have been following since ages. However, traditions must be kept apart from superstitions. Superstitions are those activities which are related to happenings of unnatural or supernatural reactions after certain set of actions. Traditions are age old rituals that we have been following without any belief of action-reaction.

Pork with Mustard Greens

Most of our Northeastern India cuisines are coooked with herbs than spices. Most of our foods are boiled with herbs and thus giving our food disparate taste than spicy dishes. We even have our meat with herbs or even with sesame seeds. This keeps us safe from bowel disorders and also giving us the necessary food nutrients along with taste of meat. 

Betel Leaves and Areca Nut

Betel leaves and areca nut has always been our mouth refreshner. We have it after meals and it is also offered to guests as a token of respect. While it might seem strange to some people there is basic science hidden in there.  Betel leaves and areca nut are basic whereas most of our meals contains food that are acidic. If you remember the simple science equation -

Acid + Base = Salt + Water

We Northeasterns are always on the frontfoot while welcoming guests to look in to our culture and food habits. We strongly believe and propagate the tradiiton of 'Athithi Devo Bhava'. We also feel good if our guests share a bit of their traditions with us. This gives us a chance to experience the goodness of different cultures and communities. Our tradition of 'Athithi Devo Bhava' is well evident from the foreign tourists and delegates who visit us every year. We are simple but sensitive people and we only get agitated when our simplicity is taken for granted. 

We Northeasterns can proudly claim that unlike rest of the country, gender disparity doesn't exist here. We never had any tradition of dowry in history and even today we don't expect any gifts or lump sum in marriages. We believe in a grand feast and we strong believe in 'Eat, live and party'. Even if there are reported incidents of dowry ever because of influence from other communities we strongly discourage it. We believing in celebrating the union of two souls with food and wine rather than selling our daughters to a well educated employed eligible groom. In fact, in certain places you can see that men are the weaker gender and our markets and businesses are dominated by women. There are hardly any cases of female infanticide, female foeticide or post marriage women harrasments. Also, we never had any tradition to separate the women folk in to a corner of the house during menstruation. We respect our women folk. We are Northeasterns and its our tradition and we are proud of it.

We are proud of our traditional attires and which have also turned in to our fashion today. We don't hesitate to wear our tradtitional attire in any of our main events. We might attend classes wearing jeans or be present in mettings wearing formals, but when it comes to anything important we wear our taditional dress. Some of our traditional dresses are Sherdukpen shawls and Apatani jackets (Arunachal Pradesh), Mekhela and Chador (Assam), Phanek and Innaphi (Manipur), Eking and Jainkup (Meghalaya), Puan and Kawrchei (Mizoram), Ratapfe and Naga shawls (Nagaland), Thokro and Kho (Sikkim), Rignai and Rituku (Tripura). 

Submitted for Indispire

To love is to trust

The marriages of most of our parent's have been arranged. Love marriages, were not so common back then. How did they manage to stay loyal for so long without even being in love with the person? We tend to judge more, have more doubts on each others loyalty and perhaps break ups are so common than ever. Out true love lasts for couple of months. We have forgotten that even after being in relationship with someone we still have the independence to go out for a meal with a colleague of opposite gender, take a ride on their two wheeler, click a picture together, share a conversation, visit each others residence and have some good time. Why do we have so many doubts? Why do we even think that it is necessary to have sex with the person with whom we have gone out for a meal or shared a ride in their pillion? Why do we even think think that it is necessary to have sex with everyone? Has time changed or our mentality has degraded. Perhaps we are misinterpreting independence or we haven't learned to trust anyone. If you have been in love with someone than how can you not trust that person? Is trust not a part of love. Or we have been so decorated by bills and EMI's that we know to trust only when a bond is attached and that too duly signed in under legal jurisdiction. I have seen people for being together for years and then approaching counsellors and detectives to check on their partner. Aren't we spreading hatred? How could our parents have no doubt on each other? How could they be in love and not say it by words everyday but prove it by their actions? We must learn something from the ear that just passed by. They would define love better to us. They have known to trust and also to respect each others trust and stayed away from being heartbroken for always. Why aren't our parents so bothered that if each of them had anyone special during their past life? Are we suppose to call ourselves modern after we fight over the past issues so much  that we end up spoiling our present. Perhaps our generation has learnt only to click good pictures, spend a lot to pretend being in love, spend extravagantly to show their love and post pictures only to make others jealous. We have also deteriorated ourselves to a whole new level. The futures of tomorrow believe in proving love by sending nudes. God bless the lust addict trust deficit generation. 

The love deprived generation

What do we get by the enthusiasm of today's generation to celebrate an entire week on valentine's day? Why are they so crazy for just one day. They have never ever realized that love blooms in those small moments everyday than celebrating a grand  on one special day.

I belong to a generation with one leg on the modern era that's running now and the other on the era that belongs to a decade back. I am not modern but a semi-modern lover and that has made me realize the deprivation of today's generation. This generation has abundance of sex and sex partners. I am not pointing my disagreement on anybody's independence but today's modern generation hardly has any difficulty in finding sex mates. What we lack is that special someone who would kiss them on their forehead or hold their hand while enjoring a stroll in a nearby community park or talk till midnight or just be there and feel the essence of being special to someone or save pocket money to buy a gift. A decade back, things were mostly of that sort. 

Decorating restaurant corner seats with a special dinner and costly gifts are impressive but why are we doing them only on one special week of the year? Anyday anytime we can bring a moment of love in our partner's life. We belong to a generation who is starving for love. We need someone to hold us tighly. We need someone to hug us more frequently. Emotional breakdowns are now more often than anytime else and so we need someone to lend us their shoulder to rely upon. We need someone we can trust always. We needmore of holding hands. We need more of kisses. We need more love. Love is what will keep us alive in this winter of  life.

Travel To Discover

Why to Travel? Is it seriously to explore new places or try out new cuisines or have an experience about different culture or food habits? Or it is just to load your instagram with fancy selfies and fish around for more double-taps or check in at new airports and let the world know that you can afford to travel? Is it seriously for yourself or a status quotient?

If you are travelling to save your social status amongst your network then its seriously an issue that you must give a thought. In this era of global village, where you are stuck between presentations and EMI's, you hardly get to know who lives on the other end of your apartment. If you are getting a chance to explore then you must go on with discovering your inner peace and exploring things that probably you won't even dream about while you are in your conference room. Some of you might find it strange but there are people who are more bothered about their facebook likes on their pout selfie in front of an international airport than have the real fun of travelling.

I like to travel. Whenever I go around to explore a new place I either do it alone or with the least possible company. Having someone with whom you can share a similar thought is what matters more to me than a group of noise making dissimilar crowd. That gives me a lot of benefits. I  get peace which isn't so easily available these days. I get to know the  place better as lesser people means lesser priorities and more similarities. Also, if I am travelling with someone special then it gives me a chance to know the other person better. It is about discovering our common likeness and common dislikeness.

Written for Indispire

Best Proposal Scene Ever

We all have proposed or received proposals. While some hide themselves behind the cellphone screen and drop a simple text over whatsapp, there are quite a few who prefer to do it vehemently. Movies have always had a great role in idolizing love in our lives. The scene from 'A Walk To Remember' where the Landon asks Jamie if she would marry him while they were gazing at  the sky with a telescope  even after knowing that Jamie was fighting against cancer. Also, the scene from 'He's just not that into you' where Beth is about to throw away the trousers and Neil asks her to check the poskets and she finds a ring and turns around to find Neil on his knees saying, "I love you so much, so much, so much and I want to make you happy. I need to make you happy for  me to even have a shot at being happy.

There are quite a few remarkable from bollywood too. The scene from Saathiya where Aditya proposes Suhani in front of his friends in a moving train. Also the scene from Wake Up Sid wheer Sid runs to Aisha and hugs her in Marine Drive while it  was raining. Even in Rang De Basanti Ajay took his entire gang to an old fort and proposed Sonia in an utost serene environment. 

However the best scene that I have ever seen is from Jannat where Arjun takes his car to stop in front of Zoya's car at a traffic signal, gets down on his knees and proposes her. While you can call it as overrrated bollywood or a bookie's crazy on the moment instinct reaction without any damn fear, it is still the best scene ever. It can also a try to copy real life businessman Mukesh Ambani's proposal style to Nita Ambani where he stopped his car in mid traffic and proposed her and he only agreed to start it again after she agreed to his proposal. 

Religion, Rituals and Superstitions

We can define faith as belief in revealed truth. Superstion is belief in happenings of supernatural activities. Superstition directly contradicts faith. Ritual is set of activities of a particular group of people performed in fixed order for a particular cause, necessarily originating from a religion, community or even a small group. Religion is a fundamental set of belief agreed upon by a group of people who believe in the cause, nature and purpose of universe and performsome devotional activities. Superstitions are although believed to  originate from religion is not necessarily so. Superstition originates with the fear from predicting a series of misdeed happening to an individual or several individuals coincidentally after some same action to happen to all other individual who does that action. It has nothing to do with religion. Superstition is all about fear.

I encountered several such rituals  and superstitious beliefs during my the events after my fathers death. Although I agreed to follow a few of them, I gently denied to follow the rest. 

• There has always been a belief of taking bath after cremation in Hindu faith and taking birth before burial in Islam faith. During my few visits to attend cremation, I don't remember taking bath everytime. I took cremation as a day to day task and only took bath if I hadn't taken bath in the entire day. My rule is to bath daily. I was told to believe scientifically with the logic that wind brings flying ash from the pyre to fall upon the one's standing near the pyre and that's why we need to bath after attending cremation. In that case, I will always take bath after entering home from the polluted city life.

• I was asked to not have anything or drink water even, for three days as I was the one who gave the fire to my fathers corpse, popularly known as 'Mukhagni'. I didn't get any logic to that and I drank water. Although I didn't eat anything, still I drank water. I didn't get any logic to stay thirsty for three days. I was told this was to feel that someone close has left me. My father was dead just couple of hours back and I didn't need anything to impose grief on me. I am still broken because of his absence.

• I suddenly turned untouchable. Some people started standing away from me. Luckily I had near and dear ones who too didn't believe in anything of that sort. They believed that for 10 days my fathers soul would be wandering around me and so touching me could land them up in danger. 

• I am asked to not visit any temple or take part in any religious activity up to an year after my father's death. I seldom visit any temple, but I feel sorry for my mother. 

• I was also asked to remain wet for three days. Everytime I dried up, I had to take bath again. This was supposed to go till three days. I was told to do so to feel the grief. I denied to stay wet for three days in temperature range of 24 C - 14 C. 

• Me and my Mom had to take meal only once in day and that too at a time when nobody ever felt hungry. This continued for 13 days.

• I am asked to stay away from attending weddings, cultural gatherings, eating outside, going to any social event and anything auspicious. This is to keep  me feeling the grief.

I would consider most of these to be superstitions as I don't see the root of any perfect logic. My father was not at all superstitious and we would often laugh at such superstitions. Although he was religious, he was not superstitous. My fathers rational nature gave me the strength to oppose such beliefs. Social pressure compelled me to follow a few of them and I shall continue to follow those few for the works of everyone dependent on me. However, for whomsoever I would be dependent upon I would ask to deny such beliefs. If it is believed that by following certain activities blindly I would feel the grief of someone's absence than its absolutely not so. It would turn me more rebellious. I will always feel my fathers absence and it is not for just a year. I will feel my fathers absence even if I don't follow these. It comes from heart and it can't be imposed. This is all about respect. I believe these superstitions are just to impose the grief of someone's absence on his near and dear ones and which is not at all necessary.

The morning of 15th December 2018

I asked everyone else to leave. I didn't want anybody else to lose their sleep. Dad was admitted to the hospital on that morning itself and after an entire day of check up he was referred to ICU. We were told that he was improving and he was referred so that his recovery could be faster. I volunteered to  stay and didn't allow any other kin because I wanted to be with Dad. Ever since I remember I always slept with Dad and this continued till his operation. I didn't want to leave Dad with anybody else. I felt I was the best who could have been there beside him. As the night passed by I was left alone. There were two more attendants of some different patient with me but they chose to sleep. Staying awake on such a cold winter was not so easy. Even I couldn't have stayed awake if it would have been for somebody else than my father. I drank plenty of water. I even chewed few areca nuts. I din't have a sound sleep the night before too. I was sure to make a tough call by morning. I had made up my mind to take him to a better doctor or if necessary even to a metro to get him well. I was with him three weeks back for nine days. We went to Chennai for his cervical dysfunction surgery. He recovered fast then. The peace of the night was disturbed by some noise in the ICU at about 03:30 AM. Although I had a watch, I forgot to see the time. I was sure it was for one of the four other patients who were also there with my Dad because two of them were already very critical. I stood and prayed for whosoever it was. At about 04:30 AM the doctor came walking to me and I lost the grip to stand. I was the only child of my parents and that didn't let me fall. The doctor said that my father wouldn't survive and he was in the last hour of life. I was never ready for such a moment. I went in with the doctor. I could see that his BP was severely high and heart beats were low in the display attached beside him. The doctor informed that multiple organs had failed and he was hit by a cardiac arrest. I touched his feet and rubbed it. Every night before sleep it was customary for me to massage his hands and feet for a while. While I rubbed his feet I tried calling him with the hope that he could listen to me. I realised his feet losing senses and he was dead by then. I could feel his soul leaving away his dead body. I was shivering and about to fall until when one of the hospital staffs caught hold of me. I don't know whether it was because of less winter clothes or something else. I am one among those unlucky son who has seen his father die and I couldn't do anything good. I had to stay numb. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. My dad never taught me to cry. I couldn't cry in front of him even though he was dead. I came outside and broke down in the stairs. The umbrella of fatherly care and love was all gone. How could I say my mother about that? I thought to jump out of the window and end my life too. At least then I could have been beside Dad. I thought of my mother. She had already lost her elder son and now her husband. I couldn't leave her too. I called a few of my kin and informed them. I asked them not to inform anything to my mother. I went in without any  tears. My dad taught me never to cry. He would be hurt if he ever saw me cry. I asked the doctor for the death certificate and discharge report. I even called up the vehicle who is supposed to carry soulless bodies to the cremation place. I could hear the nurses talk amongst themselves that how was I so stable even after my Dad's sudden death. Well my dad had taught me to be so. I called up  my Mother after ninety minutes and she was already awake. She did early morning prayers and was also ready to make breakfast for Dad. I said her that  my Dad was no more with us. I took him to home where everyone was already broken. When I born, my Dad was very happy to carry me to our home. I was bringing home my dead father. The balance was uneven. The balance remains uneven. I wish I could save my father.