Few Traditions of Northeastern India

We have several traditions which we have been following since ages. However, traditions must be kept apart from superstitions. Superstitions are those activities which are related to happenings of unnatural or supernatural reactions after certain set of actions. Traditions are age old rituals that we have been following without any belief of action-reaction.

Pork with Mustard Greens

Most of our Northeastern India cuisines are coooked with herbs than spices. Most of our foods are boiled with herbs and thus giving our food disparate taste than spicy dishes. We even have our meat with herbs or even with sesame seeds. This keeps us safe from bowel disorders and also giving us the necessary food nutrients along with taste of meat. 

Betel Leaves and Areca Nut

Betel leaves and areca nut has always been our mouth refreshner. We have it after meals and it is also offered to guests as a token of respect. While it might seem strange to some people there is basic science hidden in there.  Betel leaves and areca nut are basic whereas most of our meals contains food that are acidic. If you remember the simple science equation -

Acid + Base = Salt + Water

We Northeasterns are always on the frontfoot while welcoming guests to look in to our culture and food habits. We strongly believe and propagate the tradiiton of 'Athithi Devo Bhava'. We also feel good if our guests share a bit of their traditions with us. This gives us a chance to experience the goodness of different cultures and communities. Our tradition of 'Athithi Devo Bhava' is well evident from the foreign tourists and delegates who visit us every year. We are simple but sensitive people and we only get agitated when our simplicity is taken for granted. 

We Northeasterns can proudly claim that unlike rest of the country, gender disparity doesn't exist here. We never had any tradition of dowry in history and even today we don't expect any gifts or lump sum in marriages. We believe in a grand feast and we strong believe in 'Eat, live and party'. Even if there are reported incidents of dowry ever because of influence from other communities we strongly discourage it. We believing in celebrating the union of two souls with food and wine rather than selling our daughters to a well educated employed eligible groom. In fact, in certain places you can see that men are the weaker gender and our markets and businesses are dominated by women. There are hardly any cases of female infanticide, female foeticide or post marriage women harrasments. Also, we never had any tradition to separate the women folk in to a corner of the house during menstruation. We respect our women folk. We are Northeasterns and its our tradition and we are proud of it.

We are proud of our traditional attires and which have also turned in to our fashion today. We don't hesitate to wear our tradtitional attire in any of our main events. We might attend classes wearing jeans or be present in mettings wearing formals, but when it comes to anything important we wear our taditional dress. Some of our traditional dresses are Sherdukpen shawls and Apatani jackets (Arunachal Pradesh), Mekhela and Chador (Assam), Phanek and Innaphi (Manipur), Eking and Jainkup (Meghalaya), Puan and Kawrchei (Mizoram), Ratapfe and Naga shawls (Nagaland), Thokro and Kho (Sikkim), Rignai and Rituku (Tripura). 

Submitted for Indispire

To love is to trust

The marriages of most of our parent's have been arranged. Love marriages, were not so common back then. How did they manage to stay loyal for so long without even being in love with the person? We tend to judge more, have more doubts on each others loyalty and perhaps break ups are so common than ever. Out true love lasts for couple of months. We have forgotten that even after being in relationship with someone we still have the independence to go out for a meal with a colleague of opposite gender, take a ride on their two wheeler, click a picture together, share a conversation, visit each others residence and have some good time. Why do we have so many doubts? Why do we even think that it is necessary to have sex with the person with whom we have gone out for a meal or shared a ride in their pillion? Why do we even think think that it is necessary to have sex with everyone? Has time changed or our mentality has degraded. Perhaps we are misinterpreting independence or we haven't learned to trust anyone. If you have been in love with someone than how can you not trust that person? Is trust not a part of love. Or we have been so decorated by bills and EMI's that we know to trust only when a bond is attached and that too duly signed in under legal jurisdiction. I have seen people for being together for years and then approaching counsellors and detectives to check on their partner. Aren't we spreading hatred? How could our parents have no doubt on each other? How could they be in love and not say it by words everyday but prove it by their actions? We must learn something from the ear that just passed by. They would define love better to us. They have known to trust and also to respect each others trust and stayed away from being heartbroken for always. Why aren't our parents so bothered that if each of them had anyone special during their past life? Are we suppose to call ourselves modern after we fight over the past issues so much  that we end up spoiling our present. Perhaps our generation has learnt only to click good pictures, spend a lot to pretend being in love, spend extravagantly to show their love and post pictures only to make others jealous. We have also deteriorated ourselves to a whole new level. The futures of tomorrow believe in proving love by sending nudes. God bless the lust addict trust deficit generation. 

The love deprived generation

What do we get by the enthusiasm of today's generation to celebrate an entire week on valentine's day? Why are they so crazy for just one day. They have never ever realized that love blooms in those small moments everyday than celebrating a grand  on one special day.

I belong to a generation with one leg on the modern era that's running now and the other on the era that belongs to a decade back. I am not modern but a semi-modern lover and that has made me realize the deprivation of today's generation. This generation has abundance of sex and sex partners. I am not pointing my disagreement on anybody's independence but today's modern generation hardly has any difficulty in finding sex mates. What we lack is that special someone who would kiss them on their forehead or hold their hand while enjoring a stroll in a nearby community park or talk till midnight or just be there and feel the essence of being special to someone or save pocket money to buy a gift. A decade back, things were mostly of that sort. 

Decorating restaurant corner seats with a special dinner and costly gifts are impressive but why are we doing them only on one special week of the year? Anyday anytime we can bring a moment of love in our partner's life. We belong to a generation who is starving for love. We need someone to hold us tighly. We need someone to hug us more frequently. Emotional breakdowns are now more often than anytime else and so we need someone to lend us their shoulder to rely upon. We need someone we can trust always. We needmore of holding hands. We need more of kisses. We need more love. Love is what will keep us alive in this winter of  life.

Travel To Discover

Why to Travel? Is it seriously to explore new places or try out new cuisines or have an experience about different culture or food habits? Or it is just to load your instagram with fancy selfies and fish around for more double-taps or check in at new airports and let the world know that you can afford to travel? Is it seriously for yourself or a status quotient?

If you are travelling to save your social status amongst your network then its seriously an issue that you must give a thought. In this era of global village, where you are stuck between presentations and EMI's, you hardly get to know who lives on the other end of your apartment. If you are getting a chance to explore then you must go on with discovering your inner peace and exploring things that probably you won't even dream about while you are in your conference room. Some of you might find it strange but there are people who are more bothered about their facebook likes on their pout selfie in front of an international airport than have the real fun of travelling.

I like to travel. Whenever I go around to explore a new place I either do it alone or with the least possible company. Having someone with whom you can share a similar thought is what matters more to me than a group of noise making dissimilar crowd. That gives me a lot of benefits. I  get peace which isn't so easily available these days. I get to know the  place better as lesser people means lesser priorities and more similarities. Also, if I am travelling with someone special then it gives me a chance to know the other person better. It is about discovering our common likeness and common dislikeness.

Written for Indispire

Best Proposal Scene Ever

We all have proposed or received proposals. While some hide themselves behind the cellphone screen and drop a simple text over whatsapp, there are quite a few who prefer to do it vehemently. Movies have always had a great role in idolizing love in our lives. The scene from 'A Walk To Remember' where the Landon asks Jamie if she would marry him while they were gazing at  the sky with a telescope  even after knowing that Jamie was fighting against cancer. Also, the scene from 'He's just not that into you' where Beth is about to throw away the trousers and Neil asks her to check the poskets and she finds a ring and turns around to find Neil on his knees saying, "I love you so much, so much, so much and I want to make you happy. I need to make you happy for  me to even have a shot at being happy.

There are quite a few remarkable from bollywood too. The scene from Saathiya where Aditya proposes Suhani in front of his friends in a moving train. Also the scene from Wake Up Sid wheer Sid runs to Aisha and hugs her in Marine Drive while it  was raining. Even in Rang De Basanti Ajay took his entire gang to an old fort and proposed Sonia in an utost serene environment. 

However the best scene that I have ever seen is from Jannat where Arjun takes his car to stop in front of Zoya's car at a traffic signal, gets down on his knees and proposes her. While you can call it as overrrated bollywood or a bookie's crazy on the moment instinct reaction without any damn fear, it is still the best scene ever. It can also a try to copy real life businessman Mukesh Ambani's proposal style to Nita Ambani where he stopped his car in mid traffic and proposed her and he only agreed to start it again after she agreed to his proposal. 

Religion, Rituals and Superstitions

We can define faith as belief in revealed truth. Superstion is belief in happenings of supernatural activities. Superstition directly contradicts faith. Ritual is set of activities of a particular group of people performed in fixed order for a particular cause, necessarily originating from a religion, community or even a small group. Religion is a fundamental set of belief agreed upon by a group of people who believe in the cause, nature and purpose of universe and performsome devotional activities. Superstitions are although believed to  originate from religion is not necessarily so. Superstition originates with the fear from predicting a series of misdeed happening to an individual or several individuals coincidentally after some same action to happen to all other individual who does that action. It has nothing to do with religion. Superstition is all about fear.

I encountered several such rituals  and superstitious beliefs during my the events after my fathers death. Although I agreed to follow a few of them, I gently denied to follow the rest. 

• There has always been a belief of taking bath after cremation in Hindu faith and taking birth before burial in Islam faith. During my few visits to attend cremation, I don't remember taking bath everytime. I took cremation as a day to day task and only took bath if I hadn't taken bath in the entire day. My rule is to bath daily. I was told to believe scientifically with the logic that wind brings flying ash from the pyre to fall upon the one's standing near the pyre and that's why we need to bath after attending cremation. In that case, I will always take bath after entering home from the polluted city life.

• I was asked to not have anything or drink water even, for three days as I was the one who gave the fire to my fathers corpse, popularly known as 'Mukhagni'. I didn't get any logic to that and I drank water. Although I didn't eat anything, still I drank water. I didn't get any logic to stay thirsty for three days. I was told this was to feel that someone close has left me. My father was dead just couple of hours back and I didn't need anything to impose grief on me. I am still broken because of his absence.

• I suddenly turned untouchable. Some people started standing away from me. Luckily I had near and dear ones who too didn't believe in anything of that sort. They believed that for 10 days my fathers soul would be wandering around me and so touching me could land them up in danger. 

• I am asked to not visit any temple or take part in any religious activity up to an year after my father's death. I seldom visit any temple, but I feel sorry for my mother. 

• I was also asked to remain wet for three days. Everytime I dried up, I had to take bath again. This was supposed to go till three days. I was told to do so to feel the grief. I denied to stay wet for three days in temperature range of 24 C - 14 C. 

• Me and my Mom had to take meal only once in day and that too at a time when nobody ever felt hungry. This continued for 13 days.

• I am asked to stay away from attending weddings, cultural gatherings, eating outside, going to any social event and anything auspicious. This is to keep  me feeling the grief.

I would consider most of these to be superstitions as I don't see the root of any perfect logic. My father was not at all superstitious and we would often laugh at such superstitions. Although he was religious, he was not superstitous. My fathers rational nature gave me the strength to oppose such beliefs. Social pressure compelled me to follow a few of them and I shall continue to follow those few for the works of everyone dependent on me. However, for whomsoever I would be dependent upon I would ask to deny such beliefs. If it is believed that by following certain activities blindly I would feel the grief of someone's absence than its absolutely not so. It would turn me more rebellious. I will always feel my fathers absence and it is not for just a year. I will feel my fathers absence even if I don't follow these. It comes from heart and it can't be imposed. This is all about respect. I believe these superstitions are just to impose the grief of someone's absence on his near and dear ones and which is not at all necessary.