Religion, Rituals and Superstitions

We can define faith as belief in revealed truth. Superstion is belief in happenings of supernatural activities. Superstition directly contradicts faith. Ritual is set of activities of a particular group of people performed in fixed order for a particular cause, necessarily originating from a religion, community or even a small group. Religion is a fundamental set of belief agreed upon by a group of people who believe in the cause, nature and purpose of universe and performsome devotional activities. Superstitions are although believed to  originate from religion is not necessarily so. Superstition originates with the fear from predicting a series of misdeed happening to an individual or several individuals coincidentally after some same action to happen to all other individual who does that action. It has nothing to do with religion. Superstition is all about fear.

I encountered several such rituals  and superstitious beliefs during my the events after my fathers death. Although I agreed to follow a few of them, I gently denied to follow the rest. 

• There has always been a belief of taking bath after cremation in Hindu faith and taking birth before burial in Islam faith. During my few visits to attend cremation, I don't remember taking bath everytime. I took cremation as a day to day task and only took bath if I hadn't taken bath in the entire day. My rule is to bath daily. I was told to believe scientifically with the logic that wind brings flying ash from the pyre to fall upon the one's standing near the pyre and that's why we need to bath after attending cremation. In that case, I will always take bath after entering home from the polluted city life.

• I was asked to not have anything or drink water even, for three days as I was the one who gave the fire to my fathers corpse, popularly known as 'Mukhagni'. I didn't get any logic to that and I drank water. Although I didn't eat anything, still I drank water. I didn't get any logic to stay thirsty for three days. I was told this was to feel that someone close has left me. My father was dead just couple of hours back and I didn't need anything to impose grief on me. I am still broken because of his absence.

• I suddenly turned untouchable. Some people started standing away from me. Luckily I had near and dear ones who too didn't believe in anything of that sort. They believed that for 10 days my fathers soul would be wandering around me and so touching me could land them up in danger. 

• I am asked to not visit any temple or take part in any religious activity up to an year after my father's death. I seldom visit any temple, but I feel sorry for my mother. 

• I was also asked to remain wet for three days. Everytime I dried up, I had to take bath again. This was supposed to go till three days. I was told to do so to feel the grief. I denied to stay wet for three days in temperature range of 24 C - 14 C. 

• Me and my Mom had to take meal only once in day and that too at a time when nobody ever felt hungry. This continued for 13 days.

• I am asked to stay away from attending weddings, cultural gatherings, eating outside, going to any social event and anything auspicious. This is to keep  me feeling the grief.

I would consider most of these to be superstitions as I don't see the root of any perfect logic. My father was not at all superstitious and we would often laugh at such superstitions. Although he was religious, he was not superstitous. My fathers rational nature gave me the strength to oppose such beliefs. Social pressure compelled me to follow a few of them and I shall continue to follow those few for the works of everyone dependent on me. However, for whomsoever I would be dependent upon I would ask to deny such beliefs. If it is believed that by following certain activities blindly I would feel the grief of someone's absence than its absolutely not so. It would turn me more rebellious. I will always feel my fathers absence and it is not for just a year. I will feel my fathers absence even if I don't follow these. It comes from heart and it can't be imposed. This is all about respect. I believe these superstitions are just to impose the grief of someone's absence on his near and dear ones and which is not at all necessary.

He killed the child

A young kid in his early teens walked to school holding his younger brother who was in such a age when school usually meant a place to unite with co-agers and play until they realize hunger. As the bell rang, a man who resembled to be an adult, but actually was a person in his early twenties waited rolling his moustaches, smiling a bit, but obviously not laughing. His acquintances often said, they had forgotten how he looked whenever he smiled. He walked with the young kids and asked them to have their lunch and take a nap.

The man often looked at the kids as they played. He saw them smile with joy. He seldom spoke anything. He spoke only when he felt that thee time was getting over. At the call of his one word, the kids ran to their home.

The man fearlessly killed the child. He thought nothing. He wasn't so but he acted merciless. He always saw his younger brothers play and he often thought to join them. He refained himself always. He was still a kid within. He too wanted to play football, walk across streets aimlessly, eat icecream, play holi and live for the child within him. He couldn't. He had already killed the child within him. He had to be an exemplar of a perfect man who was socially accepetable for his brothers. To be an exemplar for his brothers, he had killed himself.

Illogical Sterotyping

I have a list of fatiths, beliefs and misconceptions which I would like to be eradicated from the society. Certain things have become part and parcel of the modernized society that we can't

• Anything black is related with evil and negativity. Why is black blamed to be so impure? Until and unless people stop stereotyping black to be something, we can't eradicate racism.

• The birth of a girl child is always associated with creation of fixed deposit, buying of gold and saving money for her marriage. We can't eradicate dowry from the society, until and unless we eradicate it from our mindset.

 

 

• Long hair and streetside hangouts are not a symbol of hooligans. Not all guys with long hair are drug addicts. Some prefer to keep hair long as a matter of choice and style. Having a hairdo is a matter of personal interest and any person poking his nose into others choice is not at all a gentlemen.

• A lady sitting in the pillion doesn't always mean that she's a girlfriend or a date. If not always a sister, may be also a good friend. Its actually the choice of the lady and the person riding it. Even their is no problem with any authority concerned, if the rider is riding withing traffic norms.

• Red eyes not always mean a person is drunk or high, at times it always mean that a person is tired. Any person on a cruiser bike to a long unknown dusty road will know the story behind red eyes.

• A couple on a two wheeler doesn't always mean that the boy will ride and the girl will be on pillion. Those who think it to be so has never sat behind a girl and enjoyed a good time while the lady had some moments of freedom.

• The kitchen is not always the place for ladies. If anyone has ever thought it to be so then perhaps they haven't read about women business leaders and had good food by male cooks. Its all about passion and interest.

• We have the habit of digging into history by the name of a person. While the first name indicates towards religion, the last name points towards caste. Some social judgements involves so much of these that personality plays no role in such cases. A persons trait can never be generalized with his caste or religion.

• Clothes can never define a person. People ususally judge a persons charecter based on his clothes. There can be a con in a dhoti and a gentlemen in a faded jeans. A few inches gap between her top and jeans makes it questionable but the same gap between the blouse and saree is acceptable. Clothes can never be a reason for judging someone's charecter.

• The girl should not always be younger and shorter than the guy. What matters is understanding and bondage and it is perfectly alright if we find it in a girl who is elder to us. Also, her height can never be a relationship deciding factor.
Submitted for Indispire

Me & Philanthropy

I have always stood up for helping those who need our help and being a Salman Khan fan I have always known that it is necessary to act 'Being Human' to be a true human being. For me it is not possible to donate ample amount of fund to orphanages and old-age homes now because I am still a dependent but that doesn't mean I am presenting an excuse. I have always stood for blood donation and social causes. Last May it was the 15th time that I donated blood and perhaps next month I will be donating again. It was long back when I donated blood for the first time that I realized the kick in a person smiling at me after I have done something good for them. It is a bizarre experience to live the moment after helping someone. It boosts up the morale within and also develops a self respect.

The last when I did something good for other's..

Three days back after I returned to my second home, 'Charaideo Men's Hostel' I found a middle aged lady sitting on the stairs of our hostel. I parked my cycle at the cycle stand. I walked towards her. She showed me a photograph of a man who was in bed and said that the man in the photograph was her husband. He was detected with cancer. She couldn't afford for his treatment. I put my hand inside my pocket and discovered  two ten rupee note inside. I immediately handed over a ten rupee note. The lady although was sad, passed on a smile reflecting her blessings. It really felt good.

Submitted for Indispire

Die Another Day..

Would you stop for a while,

sit back and listen my pain?

Would you lend your hand,

pull me to stand stiff,

and ask me my grief?

Would you care to ask,

what's the last that now I need,

before you leave?

Would you care to give,

everything you shall promise?

Would you stop behind,

and stay with me?

As you leave away,

there's my wish I would say,

would you please die another day..

Woke up this morning to a phone call from home; thing's weren't good. He was no more. He's dead; he left for the Garden of Eden and in search of the solitude. Thousand's of miles away where now he's being burnt to ashes, I sit here isolated and nothing to do. Helpless and I feel stabbed right in my chest. All I could do, sit back and write a few lines to his soul. Rest in peace, you shall remain deep within forever.

Till the pyre..

13th January 2012, a black Friday. The entire day I spent sitting near my grandfather. The right side of his body was paralyzed and he was lying in the bed, inhaling the last breaths of his life.  It was very painful to see him in that position. He spoke some broken words, I could barely understand. Everyone of the family getting disappointed with every passing moment. I saw my mother, I never saw her cry like this before. By evening I decided to leave. While I was leaving away I saw my grandfather's face. I called him once. He did respond in broken words. There was a silent call from inside me which spoke like this was the last time I am seeing him alive and it seemed like he was not going to see the next sunrise again. Regardless of all these I left, mom joined me too. It was just two hours since I left when I got a call. My grandfather was no more. It seemed like the pictures of my childhood were fading away and everything became void in a blow. I rushed to Kamakhya with mom. My mom was quiet. Perhaps she was too recalling her days of childhood when her father was her hero, and today he left us all alone. When I reached my uncles place I saw many people standing. I made my way through the crowd. He was there, wrapped in a white cloth and he was sleeping in the deepest silence of life. I could not imagine I would someday see him in a such a gesture. When a few men started to lend their shoulder to him, I rushed to pick him up. As he was there on four shoulder's I realized tears broke my heart and shattered it. He was always a hero. As a child I remember he used to carry me on his shoulder's and he was always an energetic man. Even years after his retirement he did 20 push-ups very easily. It was not easy to carry a dead man in the ups and downs and narrow curves of the hills; and I realized this when several times I was asked to leave and somebody else would hold him in his ultimate ride. Every time I was asked I declined. I was always close to him; and so I wanted to remain close until the last moment. When we reached the cremation spot he was placed carefully on the pyre. I held him by his chest, I just wish if I could feel his heart beat for a while. I saw him for the last time. I prayed for the entire time. Hindu culture began and the last rites were over. I stayed there for the entire time. I saw him burn away. I saw his bones in those ashes. Human life is too delicate and too fragile; I realized. I left as everyone left. My black Friday took someone special away from me.

Do you feel the rain,

and the downpours of pain,

as its wet again and again,

as I cry on your name..

I sit and ask so early why?

Alone in dark, I watch the sky,

in another world that's too far,

there where shines one bright star,

I feel it smile as I gaze to it,

just the way you smiled back at me,

every time I think, I weep at this,

May your soul rest in peace..

P. S- The picture is not the original picture of my grandfather. I took it from Google Images. The picture is taken only with the intention to deliver the reader's a pictorial view of Hindu cremation.

Good-Bye Uncle..

The first picture was taken when he was taken and the second picture is the last picture I have. My grandmother who sit's beside him crying unable to hold back her tears seeing her young son die. 

Even after a year now when I close my eyes,

and a moment just before I fall asleep,

I remember this thing that keeps me awake,

I try to sleep, yet I fail..

Those moments when we realized and lived,

together as a family indeed,

between all sorrows when we together smile,

everything became colorful for a while,

suddenly as a wave, the grief disappeared,

and we became happy in our own world..

Even though we stayed apart,

you were a sapphire in my heart,

miles away, yet we felt being so near,

I wish still you were here,

Now your soul wonder's aloft,

and you are alive just in our thought..

He were always beloved; and the youngest brother to my father. We realize the gap between reality and happiness as he stepped away; walked ahead in the journey to heaven. Just for a while we thought it was the worst nightmare we were passing through, and then the sweetness of illusion slowly faded away and we realized the extreme bitterness of truth in a blow.

That morning that I just woke up a year ago, I still remember my morning started with the flow of a tear and the moisture in my eyes seemed never ending to me. I couldn't realize if this was the truth. I just wished reality wasn't so harsh and so bitter to me. I just slept in the bed of memories and I couldn't wake up again. When he carried me along on his shoulder's and he walked ahead and marched for a stroll among the greenery of the fields and away from the busy reality I realized peace. When he taught me how to milk a cow, and my mischief cost you a kick from that cow. A tide of smile just passed my lips when I remembered all this, yet my heart flooded with flooded with tears.

He was just too good unlike the rest of the world around him. The world that neither understood him nor the goodness in him, and he suddenly left for his heavenly demise.

As I sit back and count the stars,

I see a few shining so far,

as they twinkle better than before,

a sudden belief you are close,

yet I know it ain't true,

behind every illusion there hides the truth,

and you are far, somewhere far from us,

you built a new home in the skies,

as a rainbow shines above on me,

I feel as you have sent your blessings beneath,

every dark night I sleep in peace,

a belief you are still with me..

Stairway of Memory..

You often come to me,

Walk down the stairway of memory,

You seem to make me realize,

The world is all empty within,

Some tears of joy flow out,

As I feel you all around..

I would have made heaven at home,

Wish you didn't leave me all alone,

It’s the same every now and then,

I miss you every moment,

As some tears flow free,

I wish you did rub them for me..

I build my world of peace,

Feel like you stand beside me,

Even if I don't see you by my eyes,

Your voice reverberate often in my ears,

The abyss in my heart shall always remain,

I shall live with this pain..

I miss you often,

Sometimes every now and then,

But someday soon I will meet you,

In a beautiful dream,

I wait for the day when,

I will sleep on your lap in heaven..

These lines are penned down just in memory of my elder brother who left me too early. I miss him every day, every moment. I just feel his presence will make every the Lord smile, he was just so lovely.